Since starting the K2 Movement on Monday, I’ve been struggling with what to do for my meals. One large part of me wants to make myself up an eating plan – deciding when and what I can eat during the day. Now this wouldn’t be depriving myself at all, I would make sure I was getting the right amount of every food group, and enough so to keep my full and satisfied. That being said, I’m not sure if this is my eating disordered brain trying to trick me back into dieting. I could see my ‘clean eating’, although it has totally good intentions now, turning into something more.
I would ideally love to be able to eat intuitively, when and whatever I wanted. I’m just not sure if I am at that place yet.
Most of you have probably heard of Orthorexia. The National Eating Disorders website defines it as such:
“Orthorexia starts out as an innocent attempt to eat more healthfully, but orthorexics become fixated on food quality and purity. They become consumed with what and how much to eat, and how to deal with “slip-ups.” “
I constantly feel like there is always an ED just lurking behind the next corner, waiting for me to let it in. That’s when I have to remember that I AM the one in control. I recently read the book ‘Brain Over Binge’ by Kathryn Hansen. I put this as a MUST read for those dealing with binges (bulimia, binge eating disorder, etc.). The gist of the book is that we have the power to re-wire our brains, so as to not need to binge. It all comes down to us. We have the ability to say no to a binge, just like we have the ability to say no to returning to our eating disordered ways. We are in the driver’s seat.
Knowing this, I’ve decided what’s best for me it to allow myself lots of lenience in my diet. From reading Kayla’s HELP guide, I know the amount of servings of each food group I should be getting. I will roughly try to eat that each day. I will NOT by any means, count calories, or get upset should I not reach all the food groups (or if I overshoot), as this is life and there always needs to be room for slip ups.
So now I leave the question to whoever’s reading this – What do you think is best? Should someone recovering from an eating disorder follow a structured eating plan?
“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.”
– Marilyn Ferguson