The Power of Music

Happy Wednesday lovelies!
So this post is dedicated to the magic that is music. I’m not sure about you, but listening to a great song can lift my mood in an INSTANT. I noticed it today when I was driving around in the car. I was in a bit of a crappy mood, super tired and feeling blah, then a remix of the song ‘I’m an Albatraoz’ came on the radio. If you’re in need of a pump up, go listen to it right now. Seriously, do it.

So this got me thinking how much music had the power to make my workouts better. I struggled through my Arms & Abs Workout this morning, a lot of time giving up and

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taking breaks when I know I could have pushed myself harder. I find that MENTALLY I give up, before I PHYSICALLY have to. This is something I struggle with frequently. In fact it reminds me a lot of my struggles with bingeing, and the stuff I learned from ‘Brain Over Binge’ (see previous post). My brain tells me I can’t do it, so I just agree and stop.

Now I know if I want to keep improving myself, I need to push past these urges telling me stop. I honestly believe music to be a huge key in this. I listen to the ‘Cardio’ Playlist on Spotify and it’s pretty good but can sometimes be hit and miss with songs that really get me going…

This is a list of songs that NEVER fail to pump me up and help me pound out a workout:

  • Ugly Heart – G.R.L.
  • We Found Love – Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris
  • Run the World (Girls) – Beyonce
  • Hideaway – Kieza
  • Blood on the Dance Floor – Michael Jackson
  • The Way You Make Me Feel – Michael Jackson (Pretty much anything Michael Jackson haha LOVE HIM)
  • Break the Rules – Charlie XCX
  • Uptown Funk – Bruno Mars
  • Guilty as Sin – Dan Tilevski
  • Summertime Sadness Remix – Lana Del Ray (and pretty much any LDR remix)
  • Shimmer – Fuel

I’d love to hear yours! I’m always looking for new songs to pump me up pre-workout!

xx Liv

“Music is therapy. Music moves people. It connects people in ways that no other medium can. It pulls heart strings. It acts as medicine.”

-Macklemore

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The fine line between ‘eating clean’ and disordered eating

Since starting the K2 Movement on Monday, I’ve been struggling with what to do for my meals. One large part of me wants to make myself up an eating plan – deciding when and what I can eat during the day. Now this wouldn’t be depriving myself at all, I would make sure I was getting the right amount of every food group, and enough so to keep my full and satisfied. That being said, I’m not sure if this is my eating disordered brain trying to trick me back into dieting. I could see my ‘clean eating’, although it has totally good intentions now, turning into something more. jpeg

I would ideally love to be able to eat intuitively, when and whatever I wanted. I’m just not sure if I am at that place yet.

Most of you have probably heard of Orthorexia. The National Eating Disorders website defines it as such:

“Orthorexia starts out as an innocent attempt to eat more healthfully, but orthorexics become fixated on food quality and purity.  They become consumed with what and how much to eat, and how to deal with “slip-ups.” “

url-2I constantly feel like there is always an ED just lurking behind the next corner, waiting for me to let it in. That’s when I have to remember that I AM the one in control. I recently read the book ‘Brain Over Binge’ by Kathryn Hansen. I put this as a MUST read for those dealing with binges (bulimia, binge eating disorder, etc.). The gist of the book is that we have the power to re-wire our brains, so as to not need to binge. It all comes down to us. We have the ability to say no to a binge, just like we have the ability to say no to returning to our eating disordered ways. We are in the driver’s seat.

Knowing this, I’ve decided what’s best for me it to allow myself lots of lenience in my diet. From reading Kayla’s HELP guide, I know the amount of servings of each food group I should be getting. I will roughly try to eat that each day. I will NOT by any means, count calories, or get upset should I not reach all the food groups (or if I overshoot), as this is life and there always needs to be room for slip ups.

So now I leave the question to whoever’s reading this – What do you think is best? Should someone recovering from an eating disorder follow a structured eating plan?

xx Liv

“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.”

– Marilyn Ferguson

The K2 Movement

So I’m not sure if any of you have heard of The Kayla Movement? If you haven’t check it out here. Just a warning – prepare to be amazed and to spend hours looking through transformation pictures.

IMG_1229_1024x1024Kayla is a personal trainer from Australia who has created both a workout and nutrition guide for girls to follow in order to get their ideal body. Now, I’m usually hesitant about these kinds of things… Many times it is just my ED driving me to find ‘the next best thing’ or the ‘quickest way to lose weight’. This program is different however. Every girl doing it, is doing it solely to chase the best and healthiest version of themselves. Girls who are recovering from anorexia and trying to gain weight, girls trying to tone up and feel stronger, and girls with the main goal of losing weight or fat. However, everyone of the girls doing this guide seems to share one common goal: HEALTH.

The entire focus of this program is balance. Good nutrition without deprivation, and exercise that fits into any schedule. image-5_1024x1024

Now ‘The Kayla Movement’ started 3 months ago, where girls around the globe started the bikini body guide on the same day, and so were able to support each other and cheer one another on. What a great thing! If you’re sad that you missed out on this… don’t worry! ‘The K2 Movement’ is starting tomorrow (April 6th)!  The support on social media sites such as instagram is incredible for this program.

So I guess the point of this post was to let you know I plan on joining in on the K2 Movement starting tomorrow, also attempting to follow the HELP (healthy eating) plan. However, I will NOT deprive myself in any way. I know in ED recovery, intuitive eating and listening to your body is SO important!

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I’m taking my ‘Before’ pictures tonight (how terrifying), and plan to take one every Sunday night for the course of the 3 months. On my blog I will keep up to date what I’m doing for exercise weekly, and any results I’m seeing.

For those interested in joining in on the movement I highly recommend you make a fitness account on instagram and immerse yourself in the bbg community. It’s pretty incredible to feel a part of, not going to lie. Don’t hesitate to look me up @livlaughlunge and add me, I’ll do all I can to support you in your journey!

So who’s doing the #thek2movement with me?! Good luck ladies!

xx Liv

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”

– Jim Rohn

Eating Disorders and Relationships

url-1I’m not sure about all you… but for me, it has been near impossible to maintain a stable relationship with my eating disorder. “Eating disorders, by nature, are a mental illness characterized by isolation and separation” (Barges, 2014). Nothing to me rings more true than that sentence. Whereas outsiders see EDs as a preoccupation with weight and body, they don’t realize the depth of it. Really, the aspect of weight is just a tiny (if not the smallest) portion of it. Suffering from an eating disorder I always felt unworthy. Too fat, too ugly, too stupid, too everything, and so I was never good enough to deserve love and relationships. Looking back now I see that because of that I always would sabotage them, ruining all relationships before they even had a chance to start.

I would temporarily try and push these feelings aside – seeking approval from men. If a man wanted me than I must have been doing okay, I was desirable and that felt good. Yet I was and still am so scared of sex, mostly the act of actually being NAKED in front of another person. Even at my lowest weight, I could never feel completely comfortable with someone else seeing my body. I wanted so badly to be WANTED by men, but once I got their attention I didn’t know what to do with it.

I fell in love with this passage from Psychology today:

“Being carefree about sex is generally the desired state of affairs.  So, how can a person with an eating disorder who has major trust issues, body image distortion, demands perfection from herself, coupled with a desire to please and accommodate others at the expense of herself be in a situation which necessitates letting go – risking being out of control?  Not easy.”

There is so much truth in this. And sex aside, to just BE in a relationship involves letting go. You need to trust that the other person will love you despite your flaws. I struggled with this the most. Even in my longest relationship I still felt I could never be myself, always striving to be ‘exactly who he wanted’. That’s not fair to him or me, as in the end it just wasted both of our time.

At the moment I am single, and weirdly enough… I am okay with it. I’ve decided the best thing for ME right now is to be alone. I loved how Jenni Schaefer in her book ‘Goodbye Ed, Hello Me’ writes that she is married to herself, even taking vows to love and cherish herself. Really, if we can’t love ourselves than how can we expect to love someone else, and believe that they love us in return? Take the time to figure out who you are, and don’t ever feel the need to suppress that for anyone or any relationship.

In the end, the only person that you can guarantee will always be there is YOU.

xx Liv

“To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself.”
Simone de Beauvoir

References:

Chrystal Karges (2014). How Eating Disorders Can Affect Relationships. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/when-food-is-family/201406/sexual-satisfaction-and-eating-disorders